Friday, April 25, 2014

I’m Actually Looking Forward to My College Reunion, If You Can Get Your Head Around That

So, next month, I’m going to my ten-year college reunion at Hollins University. I know, I’m old. I missed the five-year one, because knowing me, I was probably drunk.

Anyone who learns of my plans to attend my ten-year reunion – anyone, that is, who isn’t actually a classmate – raises their eyebrows and widens their eyes and gasps in horrified sympathy for the deeply scarring trauma they assume I am about to put myself through.

For fuck’s sake. I mean, this isn’t high school we’re talking about here. I wasn’t forced to go to my college. I chose it. Nor was I horribly bullied throughout, which is more than I can say for some high schools I could mention. 

Is it so hard to believe that I actually enjoyed my college experience? Apparently so. I spent a pretty big chunk of my 20s – okay, all of my 20s – hanging out with people who didn’t go to college, and who were either bitter about it, or thought they were better than me because they hadn’t been “scammed” into spending “all that money” on a “piece of paper.” Once I was even asked why I’d dropped out of college even though I graduated with honors. I have no idea what made this person think I was a college drop-out.

Knowing me, it was probably the dreadlocks.

The past couple of years have seen a dramatic improvement in the quality of the people I hang out with, but I’ve also noticed that I seem to be the only one who feels any kind of Special Feels for my alma mater. Excluding, as previously stated, the other alumnae (with the exception of a few people who don’t seem to be happy with any of their other choices, either). When I asked one of my 500 cousins, who just graduated from college last year, if she thought she would miss it, she just sort of gave me a baffled look.

“What, didn’t you like your college?” I pressed on like the fool I am.

“It was…alright,” she said, still clearly baffled and maybe a little worried.

And that seems to be the general feeling around here. Everyone I know just…went to a college? And it was alright, they guess? And no, they don’t have any special emotional connection with it, am I feeling alright?

I kind of feel sorry for you guys. You obviously picked the wrong colleges.