Monday, March 25, 2013

I’m Doing the Blogging A to Z Challenge This Year, Until I Get Kicked Out for My Filthy, Awful, Dirty Sinful Language

For those of you who don’t know, the blogging A to Z Challenge is a thing that bloggers do during the month of April, in which we write 26 posts, one for each day of the month except Sundays, themed according to the letters of the alphabet. So, post one is “A is for…”, post two is “B is for…” and so on all through the month, except on Sundays. No, I don’t know why. I wasn’t even going to, but my Bitchery Triad friends, Christina at Solitary Mama and Bubblegum “Cheese Queen” Cari at Bubblegum on My Shoe talked me into it. By which I mean they said, “Hey, we’re doing this,” and I kind of pouted for a minute before I agreed. For the Triad!

One for all and all for one! Or something.

Our theme is “26 Reasons I’ll Kick Your Ass,” or maybe it’s “26 Reasons I Want to Kick Your Ass” – nobody wrote it down so now nobody’s sure. It has something to do with ass-kicking though. Remember that, because we’re not writing “26 Reasons I’ll Kick Your Ass Whatever Letter is for Such and Such” every time, because we decided that would make the post titles too long. It’s just going to be “A is for,” “B is for,” etc every day, so pay attention or you might miss something important.

Some of the A to Z people have dropped by to make sure my blog is legit, and my co-host has advised me that I should watch my language during the challenge, due to the “varied age of the participants.” I didn’t know kids were blogging in this challenge, but I guess that explains the state of some of these blogs. She “totally understand[s] [my] use of language” but needs me to keep it “at a PG level,” so I researched what language PG-13 films are allowed to use (come on, you knew I would), and it turns out that’s up to three fucks per script and other words “depending on context” whatever that means. I suppose that means it would be okay to say “The bitch nursed her puppies,” or “The diuretic bear shat in the woods, a lot,” but it probably wouldn’t be okay to say “Get your shittin’ language hang-ups off my fuckin’ blog.”

I can say that today, because the challenge hasn't started yet, see.

I asked my blogger friends if “no foul language” was an A to Z rule to their knowledge and they were all like, “What? Never heard of such a thing!” Also, they allow “adult content” (ahem) blogs to join this challenge, and sure, they have to put up those “this blog contains adult content” warnings where you have to click “I understand and am 18 and wish to see boobies” before entering, but it’s not like your monitor will implode if you’re under 18 and you enter the adult content blog anyway.

I talked this all over with the other members of Bitchery, who agreed that our theme and the use of the term “Bitchery Triad” were both against the (apparently new and arbitrarily applied to only me) rules of the A to Z challenge. We then decided to just go ahead and do our thing anyway because honestly, what are they going to do, kick us out? It’s me they’re after, so it’s me they’ll kick out. Don’t worry, I’ll keep on posting even if they do kick me out.

They'll never take...OUR FREEDOM!