As you’re no doubt aware by now, Hugo
Chavez died a couple days ago. Today is also International Women’s Day,
which I didn’t even realize until about mid-afternoon, so I guess that means I’m
bad at being a woman.
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| I open my own jars and everything. |
I wanted to blog about Hugo Chavez today because, on the
occasion of his death, Citgo HQ in Houston, Texas lowered its flag to
half-staff in mourning. According to local
news sources, Citgo, a Venezeulan-owned company, announced:
"President Hugo
Chávez of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela leaves behind a legacy of
support for the underprivileged and promotion of social justice that transcends
geographical boundaries. We at CITGO Petroleum Corporation are deeply saddened
by the news of his passing. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family and
the people of Venezuela in this time of grief."
Of course, the
Internet went apeshit, with commenters calling for the removal of Citgo HQ’s
flagpoles, announcing lifelong boycotts that will no doubt be forgotten about by
next week, and indignantly announcing, Half
mast is a scared symbol for the deaths of soldiers and presidents unless
ordered by the president himself. Most of the commenters labored under the
illusion that it is illegal to fly the flag at half-staff unless ordered to do
so by the President or governor of your state.
According to this pesky
government website, “A local community, a company, a school district, or a
federal agency can decide to have all of their flags at half-staff because of
the death of an employee, a student, a mayor, or a local police officer,” it
says. So, you see, they were well within their rights.
One guy boasts that he called up Citgo HQ and ordered “the
woman on the phone” to raise the flag to back to full staff or he would “come
down there and do it myself.” I’m sure they appreciated that, it takes a real strong
man to yell at a woman.
Before he grew up, went to military school and became a
powerful advocate for the underclasses, proto-Chavez played youth baseball with
the Criollitos de Venezeula and dreamed
of being a pro baseball player. He idolized Néstor Isaías "Látigo"
Chávez, a Venezeulan pitcher who died at the age of 23 on 16 March 1969, in the
worst airplane crash in Venezeulan history. Young Hugo was so distraught that
he stayed
home from school for two days.
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| Awwwwww. ~Jose Cruz/ABr |
Chavez continued to be known as an avid baseball player throughout his life. In
fact, when he joined the military at the age of 17, he later said, it was so he
would be able to play in the military baseball leagues.
When Hugo Chavez was twelve to thirteen years old, his peers
teased him and called him “Tribilin,” Spanish for Goofy, because of his large
feet.
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| D'awwwwwww. ~Victor Soares/ABr |
Rumor has it that Hugo’s classmates at the Venezeula Academy
of Military Sciences, where he enrolled in 1971, didn’t find him very hawt. He
had two girlfriends who, according to Wikipedia, “were considered…unattractive,”
and who “were more interested in two of Chavez’s best friends…than in Chavez
himself.” When another, presumably more attractive girl snubbed the young
Chavez, he left a present on her doorstep – the rotting head of a donkey.
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| Not so cute, Hugo. ~premier.ru.gov |
