Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I Have an Itsy-Bitsy, Teeny-Weeny, Widdle Bitty Kitty Cat

So, I have a cat. I didn't ask for a cat, but I got one anyway. The aunts brought it home from Wal-Mart, so I guess it was made in China.


It appeared to be about four weeks old when it arrived (on Friday). I make that assessment because it had all of its front teeth. I actually pried its little mouth open today and looked in there, and it has some back teeth, too. The aunts think it might have been three weeks old because its ears were still a little droopy and it wasn't walking very well. It's still not walking very well. Also, it took it like, two days to poop and even now, it poops and then sits right down in it.

I don't have a picture of that.

It was already eating canned cat food when I got it, though it's still a little wobbly on the eating procedure. It sort of throws itself bodily into the dish, drops its face into it, and starts sucking.

I don't have a picture of that, either.

I've been giving it kitten milk replacer, in addition to regular foot, because I figure it probably shouldn't be eating cat food yet anyway. It seems to have figured out drinking, after some initial experiments with biting the liquid. Most of the time it doesn't spill the dish all over the floor. You'd be surprised how much of that stuff sticks to its feet. It can track milk replacer all over the room.

I haven't named it yet, because it's still too young to have a personality. I'm thinking of calling it Shoe, because it likes shoes.

A lot.

It also likes dogs, or at least the dog likes it. It keeps trying to punch the dog, and everyone's all like, “Awww, look, it's playing,” and I'm like, “No, it's a hardcore, bloodthirsty killing machine, like all cats everywhere.”

Awwww, wookit da wittle bitty killing machine.

It should have been left with its mother for a few more weeks, so now it thinks I'm its mother, and it follows me around and/or meows at me and/or tries to climb my leg and/or sleeps right between my feet in the best place to get stepped on, and/or tries to nurse from my dirty socks (bet that goes really well). You know these rednecks around here get kittens and they're like, “Well, its eyes are open, time to get rid of it,” and we're all just lucky they didn't drown the poor thing.