While it's been made pretty
clear that no one else can join the triad (triad being three after
all, as some asshat on Twitter or Triberr was quick to point out
last time, even though, you know, we already knew), the other bitches
and I have discussed it and decided that we're going to allow people
to write their own Bitchery posts. This is something like those kits
you can buy in the children's crafts aisle at MallWart, you know, the
Make Your Own [fill in the blank] deal where the thing you wind up
making is kinda small, flimsy, and constructed largely of macrame cord, but that's just what you get for not being as
awesome as me, I mean, us.
 |
| "Congratulations, it's a...what is it?" |
Here, my little
grasshoppers, are the three basic elements of bitchery. Slap these
suckers together about any old way, and you get a bunch of angry f*ckers shouting at you on Facebook.
 |
| Or is that just me? |
Speak Your Mind
Apparently this is one of
the bad behaviors my grandmother, a paragon of politeness and good
manners, tried to root out of my black little heart early on. She was
too ladylike to ever find fault with anyone, however, and also, my
mother was around, totally modeling bad behavior.
Be Funny
Actually being funny means
that people will forgive you for number one, most of the time. I
don't mean funny in that “I was actually insulting you but now that
you're offended I'm going to say I was joking, and try to convince you you're oversensitive” kind of way.
That's for loser boyfriends. You want to be genuinely funny, and if you want to insult someone, make it stupid people, since they probably don't read your blog and if they do, their enraged comments will
only add to the fun. If you f*ck this up, kid, you'll get fired from the
Internet.
 |
| We can do that, you know. |
Be Insanely Smart, and Hot,
and Kinda Scary
That's three things, I know,
but I couldn't decide which was most important. You're on your own
for the first one, but you can accomplish the last two easily by
setting yourself on fire.
|
| Ha ha ha, ha ha. |
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bitchery delivered in 140 characters or less, and like our Facebook page for updates on our upcoming link-up blog. In the meantime, feel
free to post your own Bitchery Replies on the Facebook page, either
in link form or in long, rambling Wall Post Rant form, whichever
suits your personal style.
Don't forget to check out
Solitary Mama and Bubblegum Cari for their own Bitchery Triad posts.
Until next time, bitch on,
friends.
