So, a couple of weeks ago I
was bored on a Sunday night, so I decided to go hang around in
Wal-Mart for a couple of hours. Because I live in West Virginia, and
we'll get a decent pub in about another forty years or so.
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| And when we do, it'll look like this. ~ dok1 |
Sheer desperation forced me
to Use My Imagination, just like when I was a kid. As you may have noticed, I've gotten really good at it.
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| Growing up here will do that to you. |
So I wondered over to the
toy section, where imagination springs to life, or goes to die,
depending on your lifetime level of exposure to Hippie-fied Ideas
and, of course, the strength of your natural immune response. Here are some of the toys I found:
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| Oversized Head Dolls. |
I know you can't really tell from the picture, but these dolls have heads the size of baseballs. WTF, dude.
Speaking of oversized heads:
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| Gah. Look at the lips on that thing. |
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DON'T LOOK AT ITS EYES!
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I was never real big on girlie toys, perhaps because they're so freakin' creepy.
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Baby Alive? Looks like Baby Undead to me, actually.
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Disney: Where every princess has the exact same face...
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...except for Ariel, who seems to have developed a peanut allergy...
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| ...and Cinderella, who also has a rather oversized head. |
Barbie's really starting to show her age...
...and seems to have dumped Ken for his grandson.
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| Seriously, you guys, he looks about 17. Can anyone say, "Jailbait Barbie?" |
Also, this:
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I don't think the Dynasty Barbies are for kids.
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| I don't think these are for kids, either. At least, I hope not. |
I was verbally assaulted by a Sesame Street character...
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| Haunted Elmo, sponsored by the letter F. |
...and then I found these, which I'm not even sure I wanna know about:
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| Did I mention lips already? *shudder* |
The Easy-Bake Ovens are super futuristic:
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| Reminds me of The Jetsons. |
And we might as well prepare our kids for the zombie apocalypse...
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| ...whether they're as good as zombified... |
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| ...or not. |
