Ok, so firstly I owe y'all
an apology because I missed last Friday's Fun Facts. I was in the
middle of moving back to the U.S. from Europe, and these things are
complicated, especially when you're trying to figure out how to fit
everything you own into one suitcase. I was going to do it on
Saturday/Sunday/Monday/Tuesday but I was still working on the
suitcase thing. Eventually I gave up and packed three suitcases.
Well, four, if you count the carry-on. I may be a genius, but I'm not
a magician.
THIS GUY is a magician. ~ Piotrus |
Of course, I know you'll
accept my apology and forgive me, because that's what love means,
dammit.
In honor of my journey
(which involved bad weather, long flight delays and general
hellishness), I've decided to make this Friday's Back-on-Track Fun
Facts all about AIR TRAVEL. Yay, we love air travel, don't we? Yes,
we do.
1) Like toilets and toilet paper, the history of aviation extends back much further than it has
any business doing. The first toy plane (or “flying model” as the
academics like to call it) was the work of Archytas, a Greek
philosopher, in 400 BC.
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Greek philosophers were thick on the ground in those days. ~ Marie-Lan Nguyen |
The toy, called “The
Pigeon,” was shaped like a (you guessed it) pigeon and was probably
steam-powered. It flew for about 656 feet (200 meters), which is
further than most people are willing to run.
2) The Chinese invented hot air balloons a century later, but it's believed they were used for
signalling purposes only. Jacques-Etienne and Joseph-Michel
Montgolfier are credited with the first manned hot air balloon flight, which occurred on 15 October 1783. Jacques-Etienne's did
briefly ascend in the balloon, he did not release it from its tether,
because f*ck that crazy sh*t. The first men to ascend without the
tether were Marquis François
d'Arlandes and Pilâtre
de Rozier, who did so on 21 November 1783.
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And they didn't even die. |
3) During
the Middle Ages, various geniuses began pursuing the dream of flight
via hang glider. Early inventors such as Elmer of Malmesbury managed
to build gliders that took them as far as 656 feet (200 meters),
because that, apparently, is the magic number of early flight
experiments. Malmesbury accomplished this feat by jumping off the
tower of Malmesbury Abbey. No one knows how tall the tower was back
then, but it's believed that Elmer's flight would have lasted about
15 seconds and taken him over numerous structures. He sustained
injuries upon landing, because he'd jumped off a f*cking tower.
4) The first
person to be killed in an aviation-related accident was Pilâtrede Rozier, the same
guy from before. He designed his own balloon, the Rozière
balloon, which combined hot air with gases such as helium or hydrogen
in order to lift the balloon using less fuel. De Rozier wanted to
cross the English channel, and the Montgolfier balloon (designed by
that other guy from before) required too much fuel to make the trip.
On 15
June 1785, de Rozier and copilot Pierre Romain set out from
Boulogne-sur-Mer on what was to be their final flight. Although they
initially seemed to do well, a sudden change in the wind pushed them
back to land, and their balloon deflated. They crash-landed near
Wimereux, falling about 1500 feet (457 meters).
4) Since we like feminists around here, the first woman to die in an
aviation-related accident was Sophie Blanchard, wife of Jean-Pierre
Blanchard, who was only the first professional aviator EVAR. While
not the first female aviator, Sophie was pretty famous in her time.
She was one of Napoleon's favorites, often entertaining him with
ascents from the Champ de Mars in Paris, or commemorating such events
as the birth of his son or his marriage to Marie-Louise of Austria.
Sophie was famous throughout Europe, on one occasion crossing the
Alps and, on another, flying from Rome to Naples in her balloon. More
than once, Sophie ascended so far that she lost consciousness. She
liked to fly at night, and would sometimes remain in the air until
morning.
Sophie
Blanchard's balloon was filled with hydrogen gas. Sophie's bi-weekly
performances at the Tivoli Gardens in Paris included large fireworks
displays. These fireworks were actually attached to the balloon
itself. Sophie's final show was meant to use even more fireworks than
usual. Fire and hydrogen gas do not mix well.
Sophie
had been repeatedly warned of the dangers involved here, and, on the
night of her death, 6 July 1819, she is said to have hesitated to go
up. Finally, Sophie decided to go through with the performance,
although witnesses report that she swore it would be her final one.