Friday, October 7, 2011

Fun Friday Facts #11: Still Haven't Run Out of Facts Yet

So, it's Friday again, and you know what that means! Buckle your seatbelts kids, and please, keep your arms, legs and heads inside the vehicle.

Or feel the burn of my laser vision! BZZZZZZZ!

1) In France, refusing to carnally satisfy your spouse is apparently grounds for divorce. According to this piece from the Indo Asian News Service, a 51-year-old Frenchman has been fined 8,500 pounds ($13,270) by France's highest court for failing to have relations with his wife over a 21-year period. By my calculations, that makes marital sex worth $631.90 per year on the open market.

So quit complaining about Valentine's Day, you guys. ~ John Hritz

2) According to this website, Chinese Geese are the best geese to keep as pets. Now, I grew up in the countryside, and I always though geese were the mean-ass thugs of the avian world. I ran afoul of a flock once in Boston Commons, and I barely escaped with my life.

Seriously, they have anger issues. ~ chris.huggins

So I'd never think to keep one as a pet. Unless I had some twisted urge to get my kneecaps pecked off daily.

There are, nevertheless, plenty of people out there claiming that Chinese geese, when well-socialized, make fantastic pets. When not well-socialized, I'd imagine they'd peck your kneecaps off.

Chinese geese are said to follow their owners around like dogs, and are even believed capable of guarding the house from intruders.

Well, I'll give them that.

The problem is, geese are birds, and birds poop everywhere. No, you can't potty-train a goose. You have to a put a diaper on it. I'm not even joking about that.

I highly recommend clicking that link, it's hilarious.

3) In another classic “WTF Japan” moment, executives of the Japanese branch of Domino's Pizza have announced plans to build a Domino's Pizza on the Moon. The freakin' Moon, you guys.

This cold, lifeless bringer of tides. ~ NASA

Come on, Japan, you have heard that it's not actually made of cheese, right?

The project will cost an estimated $20,923,972,754. Employees will be required to live on the Moon. Customers, presumably, will also be required to live on the Moon.

Scott K. Oelkers, president of the Japan branch, stated publically, “Perhaps you think we're foolish to take on such a challenge, and maybe we are foolish, but we have a dream and that dream is to deliver our Domino's pizza on the Moon.”

I'm all about following your dreams, Scott, but there's a fine line between genuis and insanity. I think you crossed that line when you announced, publically, that you're building a pizza shop on the freakin' Moon.

4) According to some scientists, animals – or at least, mammals – actually enjoy having sex. I really don't want to think about how these studies were performed, but it seems that “lesser” mammals and humans experience activity in the same regions of the brain during intercourse, suggesting that all of us might feel similar sensations when we get it on.

I'm never going to look at this the same way again. ~ Paul Lim

Most animals don't hump recreationally, because you can't wrap your willy without thumbs, and reproducing any old time would mean extinction for most species.

5) And, for our final fact this Friday, the Westboro Baptist Church has announced that they'll be picketting Steve Jobs' funeral. Holy zealot, Batman, is there anything these people won't protest? Jesus Christ Himself could come down from the Heavens and knock on their door, and they'd tell him God Hates Long Hairs.

Seriously. ~original image by k763, lovingly modified by me

Naturally, they announced this protest via iPhone.

Aaaaaaand facepalm.