So, it's Friday again, and
you know what that means! Buckle your seatbelts kids, and please,
keep your arms, legs and heads inside the vehicle.
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Or feel the burn of my laser vision! BZZZZZZZ! |
1) In France, refusing to
carnally satisfy your spouse is apparently grounds for divorce.
According to this piece from the Indo Asian News Service, a
51-year-old Frenchman has been fined 8,500 pounds ($13,270) by
France's highest court for failing to have relations with his wife
over a 21-year period. By my calculations, that makes marital sex
worth $631.90 per year on the open market.
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So quit complaining about Valentine's Day, you guys. ~ John Hritz |
2) According to this website, Chinese Geese are the best geese to keep as pets. Now, I
grew up in the countryside, and I always though geese were the mean-ass thugs
of the avian world. I ran afoul of a flock once in Boston Commons,
and I barely escaped with my life.
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Seriously, they have anger issues. ~ chris.huggins |
So I'd never think to keep
one as a pet. Unless I had some twisted urge to get my kneecaps
pecked off daily.
There are, nevertheless,
plenty of people out there claiming that Chinese geese, when
well-socialized, make fantastic pets. When not well-socialized,
I'd imagine they'd peck your kneecaps off.
Chinese geese are said to
follow their owners around like dogs, and are even believed capable
of guarding the house from intruders.
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Well, I'll give them that. |
The problem is, geese are
birds, and birds poop everywhere. No, you can't potty-train a goose.
You have to a put a diaper on it. I'm not even joking about that.
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I highly recommend clicking that link, it's hilarious. |
3) In another classic “WTF
Japan” moment, executives of the Japanese branch of Domino's Pizza
have announced plans to build a Domino's Pizza on the Moon. The
freakin' Moon, you guys.
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This cold, lifeless bringer of tides. ~ NASA |
Come on, Japan, you have
heard that it's not actually made of cheese, right?
The project will cost an
estimated $20,923,972,754. Employees will be required to live on the
Moon. Customers, presumably, will also be required to live on the
Moon.
Scott K. Oelkers, president
of the Japan branch, stated publically, “Perhaps you think we're foolish to take on such a challenge, and maybe we are foolish, but we have a dream and that dream is to deliver our Domino's pizza on the Moon.”
I'm all about following your dreams, Scott, but there's a fine line between genuis and insanity. I think you crossed that line when you announced, publically, that you're building a pizza shop on the freakin' Moon.
4) According to some scientists, animals – or at least, mammals – actually enjoy having sex. I really don't want to think about how these studies were performed, but it seems that “lesser” mammals and humans experience activity in the same regions of the brain during intercourse, suggesting that all of us might feel similar sensations when we get it on.
I'm never going to look at this the same way again. ~ Paul Lim |
5) And, for our final fact
this Friday, the Westboro Baptist Church has announced that they'll
be picketting Steve Jobs' funeral. Holy zealot, Batman, is there
anything these people won't protest? Jesus Christ Himself
could come down from the Heavens and knock on their door, and they'd
tell him God Hates Long Hairs.
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Seriously. ~original image by k763, lovingly modified by me |
Naturally, they announced
this protest via iPhone.
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Aaaaaaand facepalm. |