Friday, August 26, 2011

Fun Friday Facts #5: Learn Somethin', Why Don't Ya

Here, Faithful Readers, are your Fun Friday Facts. It's up to you to figure out to work them into conversation.

1) Scientists believe that, if human evolution is allowed to continue on its present course, the fifth toe (little toe, pinky toe, pig that went “Weeweewee!” all the way home) will disappear. Seems we just don't need it anymore.

Get lost, little toe.

2) In the state of West Virginia, public profanity may be punished by a fine of one dollar.

F&ck that, those f&cking f&ckers ain't gettin' my f&cking dollars. F&ck 'em.

3) The town of Morrilton, Arkansas hosts a yearly event called the Great Arkansas Pig-Out. I guess all the dignified festival names were taken.

According to this website, the Great Arkansas Pig-Out hosts an event known as the Running of the Fat Guys. Runners must weigh between 250 and 300 pounds (113 to 136 kilos) to participate, and they're required to stop at three designated locations, where they must shovel more food into their ponderous gullets.

I find no evidence of this event on the Great Arkansas Pig-Out's website, so it's either a rumor, a well-kept secret, or it's been discontined. I wouldn't be surprised if it had been discontinued. It was probably closely followed by the annual Picking Up of the Dead Fat Guys.

4) Speaking of odd contests, let's go back to the Colonial Mother for the World Toe Wrestling Championship. The championship takes place at the Bentley Brook Inn in Ashbourne, Derbyshire. Opponents bare their feet and sit on the floor, facing each other. Each presses the sole of his wrestling foot against the sole of the other guy's (or girl's – this is equal opportunity sh*t right here) foot, and they lock their toes together. Then they basically thumb-wrestle, but with their toes. You win by pinning your opponent's foot to the floor for three seconds.

This weird sh*t got started in 1976, when, according to the Bentley Brook Inn website, toe-wrestling's founder, George Burgess, realized that the English are bad at absolutely every sport in the world.

Even the ones they invented. ~ Prescott

Sadly, the English soon found that they rather sucked at toe-wrestling, too. The first World Toe Wrestling Champion was a Canadian.

"I'd like to thank my little toe, eh."