Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I really love seaquariums, even though I'm really scared of fish.

I couldn't tell you why I'm scared of fish. It's not the craziest thing I've ever been afraid of, but it's close. I do have a distant childhood memory of being chucked into a river with floaties on, and there being a school of fish. They were goldfish. I hear some people get tired of having them, and throw them into the river. Some species are apparently hardy enough to keep on keeping on in the cold mountain water.

I was impossibly small and the water was impossibly deep. The tiny fish were many. They clustered around my legs and feet, biting me. Of course it didn't hurt, because they didn't have teeth, just those weird little fish lips, but I didn't like it one bit. To this day I shudder at the memory of those fish nibbling on my legs with their weird little fish lips.

The face of terror. -- TheGiantVermin

I really love seaquariums precisely because I'm afraid of fish. It's like riding a roller coaster. I get to be scared when I know I'm safe. I get to stand there watching them swim, sharks and sting rays and eels and everything, and know that they can't get me.

Sometimes I taunt them. I stick my fingers in my ears and poke my tongue out. Sometimes I even dance around. “What are ya gonna do, fish? What are ya gonna do? I'm out here, and you're in there! Come out here and get me! No, you can't! You don't have lungs!” 

I really wanna get a goldfish, in a bowl, so I can watch it swim around and around, powerless to do more than glare.

Of course, I can never, ever, ever go into the water. The fish on the outside have my number.

One day, he'll evolve, and then I'll be done for. -- Lerdsuwa