It’s Day 24 of NaBloPoMo and I almost forgot to write a blog
post! So buckle up, guys – this one will be pretty slipshod, as I only have 52
minutes to research and write it.
Thanksgiving is over for another year. We’ve celebrated
family, friends, and togetherness; we’ve given thanks for all of the blessings
in our lives. And by now, we’ve also participated in that other most American
of holiday traditions – trampling a stranger to death as we rush to fistfight
another stranger for some slightly-discounted electronics.
I didn’t go Black Friday shopping this year, because I never go Black Friday shopping, although
I did consider going to Lowe’s to buy some of the stuff I constantly seem to
need to keep this dump I live in from falling down around my head. But I stayed
home, because I had heard that West
Virginia is the 10th most violent state on Black Friday, and I
didn’t want to risk it. I’ve been to most of the states, and I can tell you
that West Virginians are hands-down the friendliest in the country. If the friendliest people
in the country are among the most willing to bludgeon some rando with a
handbag, I think that’s saying something.
I can’t say I participated in Buy Nothing Day, because I bought
gas and lunch at McDonald’s, and I also made Jim buy us groceries. We’re going
to be married soon so his money is my money now. That’s how it works, right? Buy Nothing Day is a
day of international protest against consumerism; it’s held on the Friday after
Thanksgiving in the U.S., the UK, Finland, and Sweden, but on the following day
in more than 60 other countries. I guess that means I can still have a chance
to participate. I’ll probably forget and buy something.
It’s ironic that my future father-in-law was working on
unblocking his kitchen sink this morning, because Black Friday is more than
just a big shopping day – it’s also the
busiest day of the year for American plumbers. According to Roto-Rooter,
there’s 47 to 50 percent more business on Black Friday than on other Fridays,
and the four-day Thanksgiving weekend sees a 21 percent boost in business for
plumbers when compared to other Thursday-to-Sunday periods throughout the year.
Chris Rainaldi of Rainaldi Plumbing in central Florida told ABC News, “We work
from 7:30 in the morning [with a full schedule] up until 6’o’clock at night.” What’s
causing all those plumbing problems? It’s mostly kitchen drains and garbage
disposals clogged by Thanksgiving prep and clean-up, but plumbers also have to
deal with sewer mains clogged by things that shouldn’t be flushed down the
toilet, like turkeys. Kidding, it’s usually cotton balls and tampons and stuff
like that.
If you went Black Friday shopping last night, you may, like
one of my Facebook friends, have witnessed the very moment when the shops
started playing Christmas music. Christmas lights are already burning in many
towns and cities, and those lights are collectively bright enough to be seen
from space. According to data from NASA and the NOAA, Christmas lights
cause some major American cities to glow 20 to 50 percent brighter at night
during the Christmas season. Lights start getting brighter on Black Friday, and
continue until New Year’s Day. Light intensity increases the most in suburban
areas, which can be 30 to 50 percent brighter during the Christmas season,
while central urban areas are 20 to 30 percent brighter.
