Okay, so I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s made this
observation, but this week has been THE BEST in terms of figuring out who you
really need to unfriend from Facebook immediately and dis-invite from the family reunion. Between the multilingual
Coca-Cola Super Bowl ad, the open
letter from Dylan Farrow, and the tragic untimely
death of Philip Seymour Hoffman, may he rest in peace, it’s been the perfect
storm of social media dumbfuckery.
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| All we need to make it complete is a disease outbreak among some unvaccinated children, KNOCK ON WOOD. |
I didn’t watch the Super Bowl because I had whole lot of not
watching the Super Bowl to get done that day and what do you know, it took me
the whole day to get around to it all. So I had to watch the Coca-Cola ad on
YouTube like some kind of animal, which I’ll admit I only did when I
decided to write this blog post, because as soon as I saw people all-capsing in
my News Feed about how they’re NEVER BUYING COKE AGAIN and YOUR IN AMERICAN
SPEAK INGLSIH (only with worse spelling) I didn’t need to watch it – I knew
exactly what it was about. But I watched it anyway in the spirit of 100% pure
journalism.
I’m sure these peoples' Coke-products boycotts will last exactly as
long as it takes them to go out to some awful American chain restaurant that
doesn’t serve RC Cola (because Pepsi
products are for the gays, and I’ll have you know that I googled “Pepsi
products are for the gays” to find that link, too), assuming they even know
what RC Cola is. Their racist asses can go right on ahead and boycott that shit until they're blue in the face. Coca Cola sells a lot
of soda to a lot of people in other countries, and I should know -- I’ve been to other
countries and I’ve seen it.
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| This Indian kid probably speaks better English than you do, but if she didn't, THAT WOULD BE OKAY, TOO. Image credit: ruffin_ready |
Also this week (actually this happened first, sorry, I must
be going in alphabetical order), Dylan Farrow broke her silence of 20 years to
speak out about the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her adopted
father, Woody Allen. And everyone freaked out – not because OMFG THAT POOR WOMAN, but
because OH NOEZ WHAT ABOUT THE ART.
If you’re going to suggest that sometimes children lie about
having been sexually abused, like if that's going to be your go-to response here, please stop and ask yourself, “What the fuck is
wrong with me?” The shitstorm that this has caused should be proof enough that
there is nothing to gain, except a whopping heap of stigma, from making
something like this up. Yes, I know Allen denies it. OF COURSE HE DENIES IT.
For fuck’s sake. When you accuse someone of lying about sexual abuse, the only
person who looks bad is you, because only an asshole does a thing like that. I would
think this is pretty basic stuff, but “Don’t shoot people” is also basic
stuff, and GUESS WHAT.
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| It's time for a photo so here's some kitties. |
And that brings us to the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman. If
you don’t have any experience with or knowledge of addiction, I guess I can see
why you’d fall all over yourself to be the first of your friends to sign on to
Facebook and let the rest of your friends know that NO LOSS GUYS, JUST ANOTHER
DUMB JUNKIE and STUPID ADDICT, HAD IT COMIN, ALL THOSE IDIOTS CARE ABOUT IS
DOPE.
Let me just go ahead and point out that addiction does not indicate a character flaw or a lack of intelligence. It’s a chronic
illness and it’s about as
difficult to control as diabetes, asthma, hypertension, obesity or any
other disease that you wouldn’t blame someone for having, except for you probably
would blame someone for having obesity because you’re an asshat like that.
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| Here's another fucking kitten, you're welcome. |
