Tuesday, May 14, 2013

A Long-Overdue Awards Acknowledgement Post

Okay, so this isn’t the longest-overdue awards post I’ve ever done. That place was claimed almost two years ago, when I waited like three months to acknowledge the Versatile Blogger Award I received from Lyn Midnight. However, this post is going to be a doozy because, I have received no less than seven blog awards in the past two months. OMG, you guys, every time I turn around someone is throwing an award at me. I feel like it’s time we had some new blogging awards, because they’re the same two awards over and over again. NOT THAT I’M COMPLAINING.

So, first, I’ll start by naming and linking back to the bloggers who offered me awards.

Lady Bren at The World According to Lady Bren offered me a Liebster Award. It’s the one that looks like this:

Su-sieee Mac at Don’t Be a Hippie also offered me a Liebster Award. It’s the one that looks like this:

Different color, you see.

Brandy at Brandy’s Bustlings also offered me a Liebster Award. It’s the one that looks like this:

When I told Brandy that I’d just received two Liebster Awards, she offered me the Very Inspiring Blogger award instead.

Jenn at Something Clever 2.0 also invited me to have either the Very Inspiring Blogger or the Liebster Award. I take it she was also overwhelmed by awards.

This is the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Obviously.

I also received Very Inspiring Blogger Awards from Starr Bryson at The Insomniac’s Dream, Julie at Julie You Jest, and Stacey at Maple Syrup Land.

So, now I’m supposed to answer a bunch of questions about myself and/or state seven (or eleven) facts about myself. Since I’m cramming several different awards into one post, that means I have to list no less than 52 facts about myself. PSYCH. You’re getting seven facts and that’s all the facts you’re getting. Here are your seven facts.

  1. I have a tattoo of a four-leaf clover on one of my shoulders. I can never remember which one.
  2. I’ve been on no fewer than three Internet dates with guys who turned out to be missing teeth.
  3. I no longer agree to meet men who aren’t smiling in their pictures.
  4. I’m not quite sure what to do about the Brillo pad drawing from yesterday, since pretty much everyone who commented appears to have only done so to tell me how much they hate Brillo pads. Do they want to be entered for a chance to win half a box of Brillo pads or not? I can’t tell.
  5. Once when I was really small my parents took me to Hardee’s and I snorted an entire pepper shaker to see if it would make me sneeze. It did.
  6. The most embarrassing injury I ever sustained was when, as a child, I went to crawl under a barbed wire fence and sliced my enormous ass open on the barbed wire.
  7. The second most embarrassing injury I ever sustained was when I had to crawl back under the barbed wire fence to go home and receive first aid for my embarrassing ass injury. Naturally, I sliced open the other cheek.
  8. *BONUS FACT* To this day I still have asymmetrical ass-cheek scars, which draw a lot of questions from lovers, who then assume that something horrible must have happened to me and that the barbed-wire fence story is a cover-up. It is not.

Now we come to the part where I’m supposed to pass on the award to three times as many other bloggers as I actually read on a regular basis. I hate this part. I’m sure whoever came up with this award-passing-linky idea has nothing better to do than sit around reading blogs all day, but I do not. Also, it looks like everyone I know has already received these awards. So, I’m going to make up a new award, and here it is:

I hereby bestow this award upon all of the bloggers mentioned above, in thanks for their graciousness and generosity. I’d also like to honor the following bloggers:

Christina Majaski at Solitary Mama and Cari Wegner at Bubblegum on My Shoe, even though neither of them has blogged in like forever and also, they are both super lame for talking me into doing the A to Z Challenge with them and then dropping out. But they totally did inspire me to these new heights. Sort of.

Ali at Off the Mark, because her post about vacationing in Las Vegas CHANGED MY LIFE, you guys. CHANGED. MY. LIFE.

Paulie Elliott at This is Paulie, because I think he would like it, and NOT AT ALL because I think of him as the slow friend I’ll be able to outrun. Not at all because of that.

Breathe It Out, who is anonymous, but I’m pretty sure I finally figured out who she is. At least I hope so, cause it would suck if the wrong person showed up to the zompocalypse.

Kalyca Schultz at The Scarlet Tarlett, because she has been very supportive of my blogging efforts and I would like her to not be eaten by the ravenous undead.

Page, at Trust Me I’m a Professional (Opinionist), because she’s an old classmate, it’s a new blog, and I want to be supportive. Look at me, trying to be nice and stuff. Also, she makes one hell of a potted flower arrangement.

And, finally, Lelial Thibodeau, who is writing a zombie story at Pushing Fluid


  1. OH MY GOD, you guys! I made the team! I did it! I made the team! I'd say something about the fact that I ran a half marathon last year so I could likely out run all your asses, but I stopped running about 5 months ago after a foot injury and now my fat ass can't run worth shit!

    Asymmetrical ass cheek scars? That's bad ass! (pun totally not intended, but fun none-the-less)

    1. HA HA HA HA BADASS! Of course it is!

      I'm sure all that running will come back to you when you're being chased by a ravenous horde of your former neighbors. Cardio is rule Number One!

  2. Just to let you know... I'm proudly displaying that on my Blog as my very first award!

  3. DUDE. DUDE. DUDE. Now I have to rewrite my Zombie Team post. And make you a part of MY team.

    Best. Mother. Fucking. Award. Ever. Dude.

  4. WOO. Best award ever! The zombies won't know what hit 'em.

    1. No, they won't, because their brains will be melting like ice cream in July.

  5. Best award EVER! I've ALWAYS wanted to be on a zombie apocalypse survival team. I'm over the moon and I'm a really good shot so I'll be super helpful.

    You snorted a pepper shaker? I laughed so hard. If I get one tiny fleck of pepper near my nose, I sneeze like a hundred times so a whole pepper packet/shaker would probably kill me. I'm glad you survived!!

    1. I don't think my mother knew whether to laugh or cry when I did that. I was only about three years old, but I still remember the look of horror on her face.

  6. Aren't you the glorious one receiving all those awards!!
    You are do freaking funny!!
    I love it
    Honest to God we were talking about a Zombie Apocalypse at dinner last night, you just can't make that mess up.

    The Zombies don't stand a chance, however should I succumb I do plan on being their ruler ~FYI

    1. Serendipity!

      Yes, and should the world end in any other way, I intend to become a lady warlord. Warlady? Warduchess? WAR QUEEN?

  7. I LOVE this award!!! Thank you so much and I promise to keep my chainsaw at the ready for the zombie apocalypse

    You snorted a whole thing of pepper?? That is AWESOME! You were way ahead of the Jackass guys

  8. I care for your blog. It’s for all time up to date with the best and most detailed reviews. many happy returns on being shortlisted!