Tuesday, April 23, 2013

T is for Teasing

If there’s one thing that really burns my ass for no good reason, it’s being teased about stuff. Everyone who knows me knows this, and they use this knowledge to psychologically torture me for their own amusement. By the way, everyone, if I haven’t been returning your calls lately, this is why.

I’m sure this sensitivity to being teased goes back to my school days. I was bullied for years, and this was back in the days when kids were expected to stand up for themselves. When I complained to my third grade teacher that one of the other kids had called me a name, she replied, “Smack him.” As the years passed, a lot of people got smacked, and I got punished for smacking a lot of people, but the larger problem went unresolved.

So, in addition to having anger management issues, I cannot stand to be teased. It’s been the end of more than one relationship, since I am, apparently, just so damn entertaining when I’m wound up. There is nothing on this Earth that can compel me to spend a single second with someone who picks on me for their own entertainment. I really don’t understand how picking on someone is supposed to be funny for anyone except the person doing the picking, and then only because that person is a twat waffle. I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who don’t understand that when they tease me and I respond with some variation of “Go sit naked on a bucket of angry bees,” that I’m being serious. It’s not f&cking nice, people. Knock it off.