Monday, March 18, 2013

Quitting Smoking: Day 423 

That’s right, it’s been one year and two months since I quit smoking. One year and 58 days, at least. I’m not too sure where the other two days went; maybe I miscounted them. I’m awful at counting.

So, at this point, I’m officially a non-smoker. I don’t even think about cigarettes any more. Even several months in, I’d still feel like smoking when I was having a drink, or when I was angry about something, or sometimes after a really big meal. I stopped eating lollipops a long time ago because I was eating like 40 of them a day and they really started to make my teeth hurt. I had some major dental work right after I quit smoking which probably wasn't helping matters. I still carry a box of toothpicks in my purse, but I hardly ever feel the urge to use one.

I should probably take a new picture.

My skin still looks like crap, but that may be because I’m getting old. I also still have a massive craving for sweets, and still want to stuff my face with them at every opportunity, but why the fuck wouldn't I, they are delicious. I try really hard not to, of course, because I don’t want to get diabetes, lose all my teeth or gain all the weight. 

Speaking of gaining all the weight, it turns out 25% of people who quit smoking gain more than 15 pounds, and I’m one of them. I gained about 25 pounds. “About” means “more” but I’m not going to tell you how much more. Since November I've lost a little more than ten pounds, so maybe it’s my metabolism leveling itself back out since I've adjusted to not smoking. I've also moved out of the chainsmokers’ house and now have total control over my own diet, since they aren't around to gobble up everything I buy.

I really like not smoking. Things I like about not smoking include:
  • Not having mood swings all day long because I don't get to smoke cigarettes every fifteen minutes.
  • Not feeling as anxious as I used to.
  • My teeth might be whiter. It’s kind of hard to tell cause I’m convinced they’re irreparably stained and also because I pained the bathroom green, so now my face looks funny in the mirror. This could be why my skin looks like crap.
  • Not having to stand around in the cold to smoke.
  • Saving all that money.
  • Breathing.
  • My breath smells much better, although the cat still looks pretty horrified when he sniffs it in the morning.

To be fair, nothing is ever good enough for him.

I’m still paranoid about getting cancer, but I’m a hypochondriac. The other day somebody posted a horror story on Facebook about how her husband was bedridden and nearly died of an infected hemorrhoid and now I’m afraid I’ll be killed by my own ass, for example.

I still dream about smoking cigarettes on occasion, even though I no longer think about it when I’m awake. In the dreams, I’ll just be smoking a cigarette whilst doing stuff, and I’ll look down, and be like, “Wait a minute, why do I have this!? I don’t smoke anymore!” and feel horrified. I’ll feel so horrified that I’ll wake up and feel relieved when I realize that I haven’t started smoking again because it was just a dream.