Friday, October 12, 2012

Fun Friday Facts #47: The VP Debate 2012

As I said last time, I don’t normally watch debates. That goes double for VP debates. In my experience, a VP is a weenie, a bumbling idiot, a cartoon super-villain or Al Gore. And, you know, Joe Biden is no Al Gore…or is he?

No, he isn't.

Now, in the aftermath of the debate, everyone is saying that Joe Biden lost because he was rude to his opponent, which he isn’t allowed to do because he’s an N-word-loving, Red Bolshevik, baby-killing Democrat, but which Mitt Romney is allowed to do because he looks like the Mayor of Whoville (important distinction). Also, he laughed at Paul Ryan, who sat there looking at him like he was just adorable, and smirking whenever the subject of dead American soldiers came up. My first cousin once removed insisted that Ryan’s tongue kept darting out rapidly, like a lizard’s, but I must not have been watching closely enough because I didn’t see it. All I know is that the way he kept saying “We can’t show weakness” reminded me of my abusive ex-boyfriend teaching his son not to cry.

No matter what the major news media say (because they depend on ratings to survive and therefore, can’t be trusted) I know that last night, Joe Biden turned Paul Ryan over his knee and spanked him like a little girl – and Ryan liked it.

No apologies.

1) The auto industry bailout, like the recession and so many of our problems today, began during the Dubya administration. The Obama administration continued it, as was absolutely necessary; otherwise, this might have happened:

If you don't understand, ask your grandparents.

2) Obama’s tax plan would end Bush-era tax cuts for individuals making more than $200,000 a year and couples making more than $250,000. Which is everyone you know, right?

Poverty is an urban myth.

The tax increase would affect about three percent of small business owners. Also, the Romney/Ryan ticket does not in fact have a plan to actually cut taxes. They're going to work on that after they're elected. I hope you didn’t miss that.

3) The famous $716 billion cut from Medicare came up again. As we said before, cutting that incomprehensibly gigantic sum of money from Medicare has extended the life of the program to 2024. But, I guess since the program only has 12 years left, LET’S EVERYBODY PANIC RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SURELY THERE WILL NO SOLUTIONS IN THE NEXT DECADE. Under Obama’s plan, some of that $716 billion will be put back into Medicare, while the rest will be used to finance benefit expansion other than Medicare. Either way, the cut will save granny and grandpa $577 a year by 2022, which is important when you’re living on an average of $14, 169.60 a year.

4) Ryan accuses the Affordable Care Act of “infringing on Catholic charities, Catholic churches, Catholic hospitals.” I find it interesting that he specifically mentions pnly Catholicism. Guess he’s not concerned about anyone's religious rights but his own.


5) Under the Affordable Care Act, most employers will be required to cover birth control for women employees in their benefits package. This does not apply to churches, because they are directly engaged in spreading and nurturing faith, which is often opposed to these sorts of things. Hospitals and charities that provide services to the public will be required to cover birth control in their benefits for female employees, because after all, no one said you have to be a Catholic to work at a Catholic hospital.

No more than you have to be an animal to work in an animal hospital. ~ CG Burke