Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I Have an Itsy-Bitsy, Teeny-Weeny, Widdle Bitty Kitty Cat

So, I have a cat. I didn't ask for a cat, but I got one anyway. The aunts brought it home from Wal-Mart, so I guess it was made in China.


It appeared to be about four weeks old when it arrived (on Friday). I make that assessment because it had all of its front teeth. I actually pried its little mouth open today and looked in there, and it has some back teeth, too. The aunts think it might have been three weeks old because its ears were still a little droopy and it wasn't walking very well. It's still not walking very well. Also, it took it like, two days to poop and even now, it poops and then sits right down in it.

I don't have a picture of that.

It was already eating canned cat food when I got it, though it's still a little wobbly on the eating procedure. It sort of throws itself bodily into the dish, drops its face into it, and starts sucking.

I don't have a picture of that, either.

I've been giving it kitten milk replacer, in addition to regular foot, because I figure it probably shouldn't be eating cat food yet anyway. It seems to have figured out drinking, after some initial experiments with biting the liquid. Most of the time it doesn't spill the dish all over the floor. You'd be surprised how much of that stuff sticks to its feet. It can track milk replacer all over the room.

I haven't named it yet, because it's still too young to have a personality. I'm thinking of calling it Shoe, because it likes shoes.

A lot.

It also likes dogs, or at least the dog likes it. It keeps trying to punch the dog, and everyone's all like, “Awww, look, it's playing,” and I'm like, “No, it's a hardcore, bloodthirsty killing machine, like all cats everywhere.”

Awwww, wookit da wittle bitty killing machine.

It should have been left with its mother for a few more weeks, so now it thinks I'm its mother, and it follows me around and/or meows at me and/or tries to climb my leg and/or sleeps right between my feet in the best place to get stepped on, and/or tries to nurse from my dirty socks (bet that goes really well). You know these rednecks around here get kittens and they're like, “Well, its eyes are open, time to get rid of it,” and we're all just lucky they didn't drown the poor thing.



  1. That's a cute cat. I am pretty sure you should be practicing that new form of attachment parenting since it was taken from its mom so early. And I thought you were naming it Beefsnatchery. What happened to that idea?

  2. Awwwwww! Cute. Kittens are always cute until they become cats.

  3. Don't you think you could suck up the sarcasm for this one thing?

  4. Aww! So cute. Reminds me of my cat. Before he got annoying. He was a 4 week old rescue. The bad news I have for you is, that bit where the cat thinks you're its mother? Yeah, it won't change. That cat will probably expect you to make it stop raining. And when you can't, it will cry. And cry. And cry. Welcome to my world. :-)

  5. OMG so cute!!! SO. CUTE. Poor little baby--you saved his life. (Can you tell I'm a crazy cat person?) Awesome on you for taking him in.

  6. My husband and I raised a litter of kittens from day two (their mom got hit by a car). We them by dropper. Here's tip for the pooping problem. Used warm wash rag and wipe it's bottom. The warm sensation mimics it's mothers tongue which stimulates pooping/peeing.

    Good luck! Super cute!

  7. Holy crap that kitten is so freaking cute. I'm so annoyed with my two old cats right now, but I'm such a sucker for kittens that I would probably keep one if it was given to me right now. I'd have to name it "Divorce," because that's what would happen after I decided to keep it.

    1. And then there'd be nothing standing between you and Catladyhood.

  8. Make sure you take a picture for the magazine if you decide to breast feed it yourself. If Time won't publish it, Brazzers will :|

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