Monday, May 23, 2011

5 Expressions I Can't Stand

5) “The Exception that Proves the Rule”

This one makes absolutely no sense. If there's a rule, then how can there be an exception? If there's an exception, it's not a rule. You always fall back on this when someone knocks apart your generalizations and you need to backpedal. It probably made sense, in, like, 1592, when all of those words had totally different meanings. Now, we're just dragging it out to save face. No one seems to notice that it doesn't actually mean anything.

The Maginot Line worked great! Except for that one time... -- U.S. Signal Corps

4) “You Can't Judge a Book by Its Cover”

Yes, you can. Book covers are designed with this very purpose in mind. Most book covers even include a written description of what's inside the book – so you can judge it.

I know, I know – we're talking about people, not books. I'm not saying you should judge someone by their skin color or their hairstyle or the number of knife wounds they have received. But most people try to present themselves a certain way, and this is commonly acknowledged as a form of self-expression.

His hat says, "I'm a sensitive person with noble ambitions." -- Ed Bierman

3) “The Proof is in the Pudding”

I hear a lot of people complaining about this one. “I never understood that expression,” people say. “It makes no sense,” people say. Of course it makes no sense – you're doing it wrong.

The real expression is supposed to be “The proof of the pudding is in the eating.” Somebody somewhere got confused, and now we have a monster.

2) “The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence”

No. The grass is always greener over the septic tank. Anyone with eyes in his head can see that.

Don't go over there, you'll regret it. -- Pink Sherbet Photography

1) “You Can't Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too”

So what's the point of having cake if you're not allowed to eat it? What are you going to do with it, if you're not going to eat it? Have it bronzed?

Use it to taunt orphans? -- Mochatern

One of my good friends, Smarty McSmartass, pointed out that, “Well, if you eat the cake, you don't have it anymore.” Au contraire, my smartass friend. If you eat the cake, it becomes a part of you, and then you have it forever. You Are What You Eat, right?

So just eat the friggin' thing already. -- MShades