Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I really love seaquariums, even though I'm really scared of fish.

I couldn't tell you why I'm scared of fish. It's not the craziest thing I've ever been afraid of, but it's close. I do have a distant childhood memory of being chucked into a river with floaties on, and there being a school of fish. They were goldfish. I hear some people get tired of having them, and throw them into the river. Some species are apparently hardy enough to keep on keeping on in the cold mountain water.

I was impossibly small and the water was impossibly deep. The tiny fish were many. They clustered around my legs and feet, biting me. Of course it didn't hurt, because they didn't have teeth, just those weird little fish lips, but I didn't like it one bit. To this day I shudder at the memory of those fish nibbling on my legs with their weird little fish lips.

The face of terror. -- TheGiantVermin

I really love seaquariums precisely because I'm afraid of fish. It's like riding a roller coaster. I get to be scared when I know I'm safe. I get to stand there watching them swim, sharks and sting rays and eels and everything, and know that they can't get me.

Sometimes I taunt them. I stick my fingers in my ears and poke my tongue out. Sometimes I even dance around. “What are ya gonna do, fish? What are ya gonna do? I'm out here, and you're in there! Come out here and get me! No, you can't! You don't have lungs!” 

I really wanna get a goldfish, in a bowl, so I can watch it swim around and around, powerless to do more than glare.

Of course, I can never, ever, ever go into the water. The fish on the outside have my number.

One day, he'll evolve, and then I'll be done for. -- Lerdsuwa


  1. Hey,
    Enjoyed this. What is creative non-fiction? I write to keep body and soul together as well. They are barely together.

  2. Hey,
    This blog is awesome Marjorie.. or should i say marge ??? I miss hearing your reasoning behind your irrational fears. keep up the good work
    joe simmons

  3. Well done, look forward to more!

  4. @Jeanine Memoirs, personal essays and New Journalism all fall under the category of creative non-fiction. It's non-fiction, written in a creative way. Think Capote's "In Cold Blood" or Tom Wolfe.

    @Joe Thanks for the comment! I'll try. :)

    @Don Thanks and thanks for following!

  5. LOVE this!! Keep your fear in a little glass bowl, so you can tell it to shove off anytime you want and you know that it can't hurt you.

  6. Thanks Katie, I'll remember that. :)

  7. You must write about the scabby cats! I remember you almost making me pee my pants with that story.

    As for fish. I love Aquariums because when I was a kid I was convinced I could breathe water, so I almost drowned myself three times. I loved The Little Mermaid and in retrospect, someone should have explained things to me better.

  8. This is hilarious. I can relate to the fear of fish thing, although for a different reason, so I suppose that's why I like aquariums and seaquariums too, because I know they can't get me!

  9. Thanks Marie! One day, we should go to the seaquarium, and taunt the fish.

  10. I love your blog!

    I had a similar memory. My family still taunts me today about what they called "the fish dance". We went to the lake to swim and I wouldn't stand still in the water because when I did, the fish would nibble my legs. Horrible experience.

    India Drummond

  11. I grew up swimming in a (very cold) spring-fed lake. We got chased out by the little fish more than once - also stepped on a turtle by mistake. I'm not afraid of fish, but they aren't my favorite animal, either (except maybe to eat!)

  12. @India Thanks! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Tell you what, every time I look at that first photo up there, I shudder.

    @Robin Mmmmm they are good eating, aren't they? I hate it when they're prepared with the heads on, though. I feel like they're watching me eat them. Thanks for commenting and following. :)

  13. @Lynne Sorry, didn't mean to ignore you. Glad you finally realized you can only breathe air. And fire ;)

  14. I am scared of fish too (of course I am...)! My fear stems from being force to try water-skiing when I was 6 and landing next to a large, dead fish. I can't go in water that is murky. The fish will eat me.

    1. Gah, what a horrible thing to do to a child. I'm sorry.

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